If you have reached here, you clearly have questions around why dancers tend to fall for each other and how dance is even connected to a healthy and loving relationship. We thought it’s only wise to explain this with a real-life story. So, without further ado, let’s begin!
A loving dance partner relationship
We, at Dance Incubation, are Davide & Caroline from Italy and Denmark respectively, and we both are professional ballroom dancers. We both searched for a partner to continue our career of ballroom dancing. It all started back in 2011 when we met each other. We both are into dance since we were young but none of us did have a lot of success with our previous partners.
Dancing does help break down a lot of barriers between people. It helps to ease the preliminary tension. It, then, allows you to look at the attraction in an honest light too if you are not a couple before dancing together. It’s magical how it gives two people a chance to know each other both as dancers and as an individual or potential partner.
Regardless, we both knew that dancing was our life and we wanted to pursue this dream of ours, of reaching the highest level in ballroom dancing in the world. We are now 3 times Danish Champions, top 14 in the World and 3 times North European Champions and we are still struggling to make a living. However, we never gave up on our bond and with a dream to start a family and seek more stability for our future, we launched Dance Incubation. Because of dance, we did not only find a living but also intimacy between ourselves. It is in a way magical that we were passionate and never gave up.
We wanted to help the people who are struggling to find rhythm and intimacy in life with their significant one too. We decided to make a difference. To still dance full-time as we love this art form and the lifestyle that comes with it, we aimed to create an online universe. This way we can use our talent and our knowledge of over 20 years of dancing and teaching to help other people.
To give back to the community and to help people who voluntarily want to learn some moves to feel better about themselves, feel more confident, create intimacy, and a unique hobby with their significant other, are our ultimate goals.
Our story has actually left us wondering how it is quite evident that partner dancing has a way to bring two dancers closer romantically. But it’s not only limited to dancers. It can be the other way around too. Partner dancing is easily a way to bring together non-dancer couples too. It has its ways to, in both cases.
Because if partner dancing can bring two dancers together, that can actually apply to any other two individuals too. And we genuinely think there must be logical reasoning behind it.
Why do dancers tend to fall for each other? Can a Bachata dance class do magic for non-dancer couples too?
It’s true that dancers can develop bonds unlike any other. Through their passion and commitment to the art form and the time they spend together, dancers can develop their own family-like relationships. Such relationships may even get very hard to explain to non-dancers at times.
As work develops among dancers, their relationships develop too. Dancers become vulnerable and uncertain in front of each other as they learn new moves and share rooms and beds while on various tours.
The audience can see dancers only onstage. At that time, they can see the joyous, focused, and put-together side. However, dancers get to know each other off-stage too. At that time, dancers can be frustrated and defeated. They can see each other being crippled with what to do next, in a piece whose vision they might have not figured or articulated fully yet.
Dancers see each other when they’re moody and impatient too. After a long rehearsal, they can see each other try to address unexpected difficulties even with low blood sugar. So dancers see each other exhausted, sweating, carrying props and set-pieces down the city streets, upstairs, and even across the globe.
Sometimes dancers have to see each other half-naked on the side-stage when they have to go through multiple quick changes. In that process, they also might get to listen to each other swearing when a shoe refuses to cooperate.
Further, when you hold someone in an attractive music environment, you start to also express that sound physically. And something striking happens – oxytocin abounds – the love hormone. So your connection muscles strengthen.
And sometimes, the other dancers’ movements feel as distinct as the timbre of a beautiful musical instrument too. Dancers float on the dance music, feeling both light and intense. How a dancer can relate to another transforms during dancing together as though they let go of something. The unexpected movements become part of what dancers co-create in the music easily and instantly. Whatever happens then feels like it is exactly as it should be. Even hours later the body continues to feel light. And conversation or any interaction feels seamless. It’s magical how, when you change how you do one thing, can change how you communicate completely. This can even happen to a point where it doesn’t really matter how good the other partner is at dancing.
This can be attributed to the fact that naturally we all are limited by what we individually see and experience. The barriers often tend to block our view of the experience of others. But what’s unique about partner dancing is that a dancer can learn to interconnect their physical experience with that of another’s. Not only do we learn to listen but also learn to speak.
Listening + Speaking = listening to what the dance partner’s body is saying whilst the other’s body is speaking and vice versa.
Dance partners follow the way the other dancer is moving their body. How one follows the other feeds back into how the one leads. It is like an infinite feedback loop that attunes them deeply.
My dance partner and I have danced together for years before we had this experience. You can sum it up to say that learning to dance is pretty much equal to learning a language. Because both eventually become a medium for communication. When at its best, dance is two-way communication. And who cannot connect their viewpoints in a true conversation?
5 Ways couples dancing together are couples that get closer
1. Dance is an opportunity to whiff pheromones
The chance to check physical compatibility is an obvious benefit of dancing together. In partner dances, couples have the proximity to even get a whiff of each other’s activity-induced sweat. Pheromones are a factor in attraction among human beings scientifically. Simply put, our brain doesn’t have any police sitting to guard that sense. We have to smell what comes our way, don’t we? However evolved we’d like to think we are, in close connection to dances, couples embrace each other and can easily sense how you fit together like a key fits its lock.
2. Dance teaches you to flirt
Dance as competition is about flirting with your judges and your partner. Most of the legit online dance courses will emphasize the need to look like you are loving the music. Partner dances force couples to have chemistry and chemistry requires flirt. Some dance teachers even have students pretend they’re about to kiss each other to make them better flirts. This can make people feel like they had actually kissed even if they had not.
3. Dance makes you release oxytocin
As dance increases non-verbal proximity it creates physical connection. The non-verbal proximity causes the release of hormones like oxytocin. Also known as the love hormone, oxytocin helps couples feel love and connection with each other. So you coordinate with your partner and use your body language while you are getting emotionally attached too.
4. Dance makes you laugh together
When non-dancers dance together they laugh. “Why?” We thought so you might ask. Because if couples lack coordination in the beginning and even one of them is taking longer to master the art form, they’ll end up laughing with each other. There is no greater therapy than laughter even for a couple. An online dance course for partners is a work in progress. Just like your relationship, you will enjoy the laughs that come with the dance learning experience. The imperfect situations will end up becoming perfect memories.
5. Dance encourages touch
After pheromones, touch also is used by human beings every day to make sense of the world. It is a sense that we develop since we take birth and plays an important role in every relationship we form. You might be surprised that even the briefest touch from another person can stir a change in your physiological states and emotional experiences. The tactile physical connection between couples that is experienced in dance classes has a reputation for increasing intimacy and thus strengthening romantic relationships.
Over to you!
Whether you are looking for ‘the one’ or already are taken, choosing online dance classes to unwind with a partner will provide some enormous benefits other than just ‘unwinding’.
It’s clear that regardless of a non-romantic or a romantic relationship, the physical contact that dancing together encourages, can increase communal feelings and even go on to increase feelings of gratitude and support.
The synchronisation that a couple experiences during partner dances like Bachata increases the feelings of cooperation, openness, tolerance, and positivity to one another.
There are so many people acknowledging the role of dance in facilitating bonding but it still is sometimes so overlooked. This can be attributed to the fact that its effect is unquantifiable.
Current times, however, can make anyone feel certain that the benefits of partner dances are beyond physical health. They are good for the mental health of the individuals in the relationship too.
Thanks to technology, you also can start sharing that kind of bond with your partner by taking up a 6-week online Bachata dance class together.
It’s time to start strengthening your relationship with your first class on Dance Incubation with us, your instructors Davide & Caroline.