How to Build Confidence?
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Building self-confidence is something we are never really taught when we grow up. So many people lack confidence and no one talks about how to create it in the most crucial years when growing up in the school being a fragile teenager.
However, it is never too late to start building self-confidence and it is a never-ending journey of renewing the gap between what your mind tells you and what is actually true.

Let’s get into how we can build more of this famous ingredient and why it is so crucial to be a confident person.

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What is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence at the end of the day is an emotion. A state of being and believing in one’s own capacity, abilities and qualities in whatever field required. It is also a skill that needs attention and training and it will be something that you must come back to throughout your whole life. Just because you are naturally more self-confident at one point in your life, doesn’t mean that you can’t lose this feeling and over time become shy and unsure of yourself and your own capabilities.

Loosing self-confidence often happens when we go through life and circumstances or a specific situation robs us for our believe or trust in our self. For example, if you are laughed at publicly while doing a presentation in school or at work or if someone oversteps your personal sphere. That could happen in a sexual situation, when you were forced to do something you didn’t wanted to do. Self-confidence can also be lost slowly by staying in a toxic relationship for a long period of time. Day by day you would lose more and more of yourself and your believe in love, the believe in yourself and you would start doubting more and more as a result.

As you can see self-confidence can be both intellectual, emotional and physically but eventually they all lead to the same thing – An emotion or state of being, when one believes and trust in one’s own Ability, quality and judgement.

How to Build Self-Confidence?


Positive Self-talk is a great way to improve your self-confidence. However, by self-talk alone you don’t get far, which is why a combination of the following points is the best and most successful way to create a strong confidence, that you always have the power of and can renew throughout your life.

We all have voices in our mind that goes on all the time, that is a part of the fact of being a human being. We have up to 60.000 thousand thoughts in a day and while that sounds like a lot then hear this: 80 % of these thoughts tend to be negative thought patterns and 95 % of them are repetitive thoughts we tell ourselves day in and day out.

How shocking are these numbers?!

That means that we are self-sabotaging ourselves, in our own mind whether we like it or not and this is the proof that self-talk and owning your own mind is SO crucial for building self-confidence.

While we have 60.000 thoughts a day, most of them happens in the back of our mind without having to concentrate too much about them. But in order to start owning your mindset and master the skill of positive self-talk, start to acknowledge these negative thoughts. Start by acknowledging how you look at other people on the street while passing them.

Are you judging them? Noticing what they wear, how they walk or commenting (in your mind) on their scent ecc.?
Step 1 is to acknowledge it and step 2 is to force yourself to say “that is okay” and then find something positive about that same person. Try to imagine their life. Maybe that person has a back pain and is walking funny or maybe that person just came from the gym rushing back to his family and didn’t manage to shower before leaving.

Be careful to judge without knowing people’s story. Your thought pattern and subconscious mind will do this automatically, but if you start to acknowledge it and force yourself to change it, one step at a time you will start to feel more free from judgements and you start to control your own mind which is the first step towards a confident lifestyle.

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Number 2 is Action. Thinking about things is amazing and I which for everyone to dream big and without any restrictions. We all deserve the life of our dreams and to feel free, to create what we truly want. But how many times do you hear your friends and family talk about their dreams and things they want, but always just stays a thought, right?

So instead of talking the talk, start walking the walk!

That is the best piece of advice you can ever get when it comes to self-confidence. Don’t sit down and dream about having it or being jealous at other people you see who are super confident. Start taking action on your dreams. 1 small step at a time and you will see that sooner rather than later, you are the person that other people envy because of your confidence and success.

The quickest way and how you truly build confidence, is by setting up many small tasks and then do them. Self-confidence is growing from making things happen and by accomplishing many small tasks or events, your confidence gets injected with a boost and jumps up 1 level more.


The beautiful thing about self-confidence is that it is highly spreadable. Don’t we all have that one friend who is always incredible energetic and happy? That one person we all love hanging out with and being around? Well you can be that person to your friends!

By controlling your thought patterns and taking consistent action you will create a state of flow that radiates out to everyone around you and you will start feeling more energetic, more confident and believe in your own abilities both professionally, emotionally and physically.

The reward from “walking the walk” is a growth in your identity and who you are as a person. By growing and investing into your self-confidence you will become an independent person who strives for greatness. Who attracts opportunities in life and create wealth and abundance for yourself and the people around you. Success will no longer depend on luck, it will depend on hard work and arrive only to the people prepared to create it for themselves starting by investing into themselves and their confidence.

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Why is it Crucial to Have Self-Confidence?

The more self-confident you become the more you know that you can accept, handle, learn, gain and benefit from any given situation.

In other words, you become a better co-worker, a better friend, a better spouse, and better son or daughter and just generally gain more happiness in your life.

You attract abundance and the right people and opportunities in your life which will lead to the lifestyle that you want and strive for.

It has nothing to do with being arrogant or more worth than other people. Actually, the right opposite. It is about understanding and finding your own worth and holding on to it tightly.
Life can be a big rollercoaster and knowing your own worth will be the force that pulls you out of any given situation life throws at you…

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Is it Too Late to Build Confidence?

This is the beauty of it all. It is NEVER too late to build confidence. Just because you where the person being bullied in school, lived a decade in a toxic relationship or worked for a strict boss for years that took its toll on your self-belief, it doesn’t mean that you are now a lost case. Not at all and most likely the opposite.

You will just have to work really hard to build it up again. And yes, It will be hard and you will fail and not get it right for a period of time. But if you stick to the process of creating positive self-talk and take consistent action, creating small wins on a daily basis you will get there!

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Caroline Kjeldgaard

Fulltime dancer and creator

Caroline is giving her all to share knowledge around sensuality and movement as a female dancer. She is based in Hong Kong and provides weekly guidance to her followers.

Caroline Kjeldgaard

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